Sent: July 31/10 7:46 pm
Rachel: The bride and groom are dancing to Peter Fucking Gabriel!
Terin: Salsbury Hill? In Your Eyes? Sledgehammer? Or Shock the Monkey?
Rachel: In Your Eyes! Of course, haha, you knew that.
Terin: So they must like John Cusack as well.
8.08.2010
Boop oop a doop.
Sent: Jun 18/10 9:30 pm
Terin: Women who line Betty Boop are kinda like girls who like horses.
Sam: I couldn't have said it better. I bet she has a Betty tattooed on her right boob and her husband has Tweety Bird on his.
Terin: And probably a curio cabinet full of crap.
Sam: Him, lots of action figures.
Terin: And a Vegas cocktail cup filled with Mardi Gras beads next to Precious Moments and Miss Boop (I'm blatantly referencing my aunt now).
Terin: Women who line Betty Boop are kinda like girls who like horses.
Sam: I couldn't have said it better. I bet she has a Betty tattooed on her right boob and her husband has Tweety Bird on his.
Terin: And probably a curio cabinet full of crap.
Sam: Him, lots of action figures.
Terin: And a Vegas cocktail cup filled with Mardi Gras beads next to Precious Moments and Miss Boop (I'm blatantly referencing my aunt now).
7.11.2010
Fun with nuns.
Sent: Jul 1/10 3:49 pm
Rachel: There are nuns on campus today! NUNS, TERIN!
Terin: Was it like those Borders calendars of funny nuns?
Rachel: Yes! One was wearing a visor and those huge headphones.
Terin: What do you think she was listening to?
Rachel: Notorious BIG
Terin: I was gonna say Eazy-E! Soulmates.
Rachel: I'll tell her you said to jam out with her clam out.
Rachel: There are nuns on campus today! NUNS, TERIN!
Terin: Was it like those Borders calendars of funny nuns?
Rachel: Yes! One was wearing a visor and those huge headphones.
Terin: What do you think she was listening to?
Rachel: Notorious BIG
Terin: I was gonna say Eazy-E! Soulmates.
Rachel: I'll tell her you said to jam out with her clam out.
Weekend warrior.
Sent: Jun 27/10 8:29 pm
Terin: How was your weekend?
Ashli: Funny you ask, I got shit canned and blacked out at work and then ended up in Denver.
Ashli: Wore a legit fedora that came home with me but was totally concave. Um, and a romper. And had red lipstick all over my face.
Ashli: That's all.
Terin: How was your weekend?
Ashli: Funny you ask, I got shit canned and blacked out at work and then ended up in Denver.
Ashli: Wore a legit fedora that came home with me but was totally concave. Um, and a romper. And had red lipstick all over my face.
Ashli: That's all.
6.05.2010
Amerrrica and shit.
Sent: Jun 5/10 1:19 pm
Brandy: Just saw a bumper sticker that read, "Freedom isn't free." My response to that is, "That's right, it isn't, that's why we pay taxes."
Terin: Taxes appropriated for my military boyfriend to buy obscene amounts of electronics and beer!
Brandy: Beer and electronics are necessities and a key to freedom.
Terin: And manhood.
Brandy: Just saw a bumper sticker that read, "Freedom isn't free." My response to that is, "That's right, it isn't, that's why we pay taxes."
Terin: Taxes appropriated for my military boyfriend to buy obscene amounts of electronics and beer!
Brandy: Beer and electronics are necessities and a key to freedom.
Terin: And manhood.
Damn college kids.
Sent: June 3/10 2:51 pm
Rachel: I can already tell that one of the student employees is going to be a huge pain in my ass. Is it legal to fire someone for just being a passive aggressive bitch?
Terin: Passive aggressively get her fired! What's her deal?
Rachel: She's young and an insatiable know-it-all.
Terin: Her spirit must be crushed!
Rachel: I just want to raise one eyebrow and say, "Listen, honey, it's rough out there. If you want to find out just how rough, keep giving me that fucking attitude and I'll throw you out on your little white porcelain ass."
Terin: Oh, hot damn! Yeah, she doesn't think that she'll be picking cheese out of someone's salad after her graduation speech.
Rachel: Damn college kids.
Rachel: I can already tell that one of the student employees is going to be a huge pain in my ass. Is it legal to fire someone for just being a passive aggressive bitch?
Terin: Passive aggressively get her fired! What's her deal?
Rachel: She's young and an insatiable know-it-all.
Terin: Her spirit must be crushed!
Rachel: I just want to raise one eyebrow and say, "Listen, honey, it's rough out there. If you want to find out just how rough, keep giving me that fucking attitude and I'll throw you out on your little white porcelain ass."
Terin: Oh, hot damn! Yeah, she doesn't think that she'll be picking cheese out of someone's salad after her graduation speech.
Rachel: Damn college kids.
Craigslist.
Sent: Jun 3/10, 11:29 am
Terin: Just spotted a middle-aged man sporting a visor, driving a red convertible, and listening to "Piano Man"- he needs to get a grip.
Rachel: Or laid by a blonde 20-something.
Terin: Craigslist.
Rachel:"Seasoned and worldly gentleman seeks young female companion. If you enjoy red wine, Kenny G., and fast cars, I am the man for you. Must like braiding my ponytail."
Terin: Omg, I just choked on my Udon.
Terin: Just spotted a middle-aged man sporting a visor, driving a red convertible, and listening to "Piano Man"- he needs to get a grip.
Rachel: Or laid by a blonde 20-something.
Terin: Craigslist.
Rachel:"Seasoned and worldly gentleman seeks young female companion. If you enjoy red wine, Kenny G., and fast cars, I am the man for you. Must like braiding my ponytail."
Terin: Omg, I just choked on my Udon.
Purity.
Sent: May 28/10 2:37 pm
Terin: Ew, that brochure looks like disturbed children's art. And that breast is pretty rendered.
Rachel: Yeah, the group is called "Purity" and the director of student organizations has already told me that they are under their "Orgs to Monitor for Cult Behavior" category.
Terin: Shut the fuck up! Your job is so much more amusing/interesting than mine! Have you spoken with the freaks?
Rachel: Not yet! Unnamed University is out for the summer now it's died down. But they are a new group, apparently, and their mission statement in their Student Organization Application was "troubling" according to said director.
Terin: You should find that mission statement!
Rachel: Looking now.
Terin: So you're getting money back from college, you work with people you admire, and you get to hear about freaks all day! Win!
Rachel: Yeah, and I can fart in my office.
Terin: You have your own office??
Rachel: Yup, with a door and everything. I feel like a total fraud, like, "Why the fuck do I have an office?!"
Terin: Now you can eat as much crap as you please without judgement! The dream.
Rachel: And pull my underwear outta my ass in peace.
Terin: Ew, that brochure looks like disturbed children's art. And that breast is pretty rendered.
Rachel: Yeah, the group is called "Purity" and the director of student organizations has already told me that they are under their "Orgs to Monitor for Cult Behavior" category.
Terin: Shut the fuck up! Your job is so much more amusing/interesting than mine! Have you spoken with the freaks?
Rachel: Not yet! Unnamed University is out for the summer now it's died down. But they are a new group, apparently, and their mission statement in their Student Organization Application was "troubling" according to said director.
Terin: You should find that mission statement!
Rachel: Looking now.
Terin: So you're getting money back from college, you work with people you admire, and you get to hear about freaks all day! Win!
Rachel: Yeah, and I can fart in my office.
Terin: You have your own office??
Rachel: Yup, with a door and everything. I feel like a total fraud, like, "Why the fuck do I have an office?!"
Terin: Now you can eat as much crap as you please without judgement! The dream.
Rachel: And pull my underwear outta my ass in peace.
Too bad, so sad.
Sent: May 31/10 9:15 pm
Dan: So when are you moving to Chicago? Most of the kids there (under 30) were Navy or College. Hipsters. Girls walking around with gay best friends. Needless to say, it reminded me of you
Terin: I thought about going to college there! Wouldn't that be awesome- a summer in Chicago sexing my navy BF on weekends! And seeing the art and neighborhoods.
Dan: YES!
Terin: Too bad, Sallie Mae crushes dreams.
Dan: So when are you moving to Chicago? Most of the kids there (under 30) were Navy or College. Hipsters. Girls walking around with gay best friends. Needless to say, it reminded me of you
Terin: I thought about going to college there! Wouldn't that be awesome- a summer in Chicago sexing my navy BF on weekends! And seeing the art and neighborhoods.
Dan: YES!
Terin: Too bad, Sallie Mae crushes dreams.
5.24.2010
Crazy in love.
Sent: May 15/10 8:26 pm
Unstable: There is a new guy here who looks like he slit his wrist last night. I'm trying to get him out of his room 'cause he's cute haha. And the only other person my age.
Terin: You better not be a whore! It's a mental rehab center; not VH1.
Unstable: I haven't seen the outside world in three weeks, bitch. I can't be a whore anyway. We aren't allowed in other patient's rooms.
Terin: Make sure you aren't wearing your mental hospital goggles.
Unstable: Not really, but the whole bandages on the wrist are a turnoff. But hell, I'm suicidal too.
Unstable: There is a new guy here who looks like he slit his wrist last night. I'm trying to get him out of his room 'cause he's cute haha. And the only other person my age.
Terin: You better not be a whore! It's a mental rehab center; not VH1.
Unstable: I haven't seen the outside world in three weeks, bitch. I can't be a whore anyway. We aren't allowed in other patient's rooms.
Terin: Make sure you aren't wearing your mental hospital goggles.
Unstable: Not really, but the whole bandages on the wrist are a turnoff. But hell, I'm suicidal too.
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